Civility in Public Forums: A Mere Pipe-Dream?
“Our goal is not to change people’s views of issues, but to change their views of each other.”
I Wouldn’t Have Believed It
Civility in a gun control debate? I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t witnessed it myself.
People asking real questions. Engaging politely. Seeking to understand opposing views. And not at a book club or a church small group—but at a public debate on gun control.
As we left the event, we smiled. We exchanged contact information. We even hugged new friends who think very differently than we do.
In an age when “ragebait” dominates headlines and public discourse feels perpetually on edge, it’s fair to ask: Is civility in public forums just a pipe-dream?
I’m here to say—no. I’ve seen what’s possible.
When Civility in Public Forums Actually Happens
Last summer, the Brandt Event Barn hosted three public events curated by the local alliance of Braver Angels, the nation’s largest cross-partisan, volunteer-led movement dedicated to bridging the partisan divide.
The debate resolutions were anything but safe or superficial:
Public schools should prioritize parental input over state mandates when teaching about gender identity and sexual orientation
Colorado’s gun control laws unfairly infringe on personal freedoms
Freedom of religion safeguards the right to public religious expression rather than mandating its prohibition
Hardly topics known for polite conversation.
And yet—vigorous, passionate debate unfolded without sacrificing kindness, respect, or civility.
That is what civility in public forums can look like.
Is Disagreement the Problem—or Something Deeper?
Many assume disagreement itself causes incivility. The proposed solution? Avoid politics and religion altogether.
But avoiding hard conversations comes at a cost: viewpoint diversity—something we need to refine our thinking on complex issues.
My son, a seasoned debater, once challenged me with a simple question:
“Mom, I’m not afraid of the truth. Are you afraid of the truth?”
What he meant was this:
If we are willing to understand another perspective in its strongest form, we either sharpen our own thinking—or gain the humility to rethink it altogether.
Either way, respect grows.
That mindset doesn’t weaken democracy. It strengthens it.
Disagreement is not the enemy. Dehumanization is.
The Skills Behind Civil Discourse
Civility in public forums does not happen accidentally.
This is where the Braver Angels model shines.
Their workshops teach:
Simple, practical skills for conversations over difference
Clear ground rules for moderated debate
A framework that prioritizes seeking understanding
The result? Disagreement without dehumanization.
That kind of dialogue is not naïve. It is structured, practiced, and repeatable.
Disagreement Is Not the Crisis
Alexandra Hudson puts it beautifully:
“Disagreement is not our crisis. Disagreement has always existed and is essential to democratic life. Our crisis is dehumanization… Not all ideas are equal. All people are.”
That truth sits at the heart of civility in public forums.
We do not need fewer disagreements.
We need better ones.
Courageous Citizenship in Action
That is the vision behind Courageous Citizenship—and the reason we are bringing this conversation to UCCS.
Reclaiming Civility, in partnership with the University of Colorado Colorado Springs, is hosting an evening with:
Maury Giles, CEO of Braver Angels
Alexandra Hudson, best-selling author ofThe Soul of Civility and founder of Civic Renaissance
Braver Angels defines citizenship this way:
Citizenship is the common thread that connects all Americans—not race or religion, but shared values of freedom, liberty, and equality.
The goal isn’t to change people’s views of issues.
It’s to change their views of each other.
Join the Conversation
If you are concerned about the tone of public discourse in our community—if you long for a way to disagree without dividing—this evening is for you.
This gathering at UCCS will include:
A live discussion on incivility and courageous citizenship
A Q&A with Maury Giles and Alexandra Hudson
Practical next steps to keep the conversation going in our community
At Reclaiming Civility, our mission is to equip people with the skills to:
Strengthen relationships at work and at home
Engage honestly without fear of losing relationships or reputation
Create public spaces where authenticity and respect coexist
Civility in public forums isn’t naïve.
It isn’t passive.
And it certainly isn’t a pipe-dream.
It is a practiced skill—and one our democracy desperately needs.
FAQ
What does civility in public forums mean?
Civility in public forums means engaging others with respect and humanity—even during deep disagreement—without personal attacks or dehumanization.
Does civility in public forums mean avoiding hard conversations?
No. True civility allows for robust disagreement while maintaining respect and goodwill.
What is Braver Angels?
Braver Angels is a national, cross-partisan organization that teaches skills for respectful political dialogue and civic engagement.
What is Courageous Citizenship?
Courageous Citizenship is the practice of engaging fellow citizens with goodwill, humility, and commitment to democratic principles—especially across difference.
